Sound Glossary.
As part of my research for this project I made a post-human sound glossary. Due to the nature of this project and how I was approaching my own trauma, I wanted to process different sounds and what relation they had to my own trauma. The way I did this was the glossary below. Taking many tones, sounds and textures I felt a strong connection to, I made four soundscapes that I felt encapsulated the three terms that they’re related to. These three soundscapes served as building blocks for the project as a whole.
As a part of my research I wrote quite a lot of poetry. Here are a collection of some of the poems
Writings I Made.
the warmth of your hand caresses me,
where i don’t want you to touch,
a stark contrast to numbest that you left,
and the innocence you crushed.
oh forgive me lord,
for i have sinned,
so i will blame and shame the pain away,
until it’s all repent.
guilt that’s been hidden in a crack,
in the back of my psyche,
and i will crawl in there with it,
so no one can find me.
i promise i didn’t know,
i just did what i was told,
and boys will be boys,
no matter how old.
someone i trusted,
someone who was a friend,
like an older brother,
but i was wrong - in the end.
the lights go up,
everything stops
a silence befalls the crowd,
i take my place,
on the stage,
ready to make you proud.
my makeup glistens,
the audience listens,
to hear the song i sing,
their cheers are moot,
i wait for you,
to tell me what you think.
you tell me dance,
so i do so,
the movements break my bones,
no matter what,
i will not stop,
until your judgment’s known.
you look through me,
and barely speak,
you demand to see some magic,
i start to rise,
to all’s surprise,
i share all my dramatics.
i move the moon,
i grab the stars,
and put them at your feet,
i drain the sea,
i crack the sky,
but you won’t look at me.
unimpressed,
you take your rest,
and thus so leaves the crowd,
i lie in pain,
submerged in shame,
i’ll never make you proud.